He Had Compassion

I have a few other things I want to blog about and will get to those, hopefully, in the next week or so. But this morning, I wanted to share briefly what I read during my devotions this morning.

I have been reading through Genesis lately, but today I decided to read in Matthew. Our pastor is currently working through Matthew. I've been learning lots & am trying not to ignore the challenges our pastor gives us!

Matthew 9:36

"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd."

We know from reading through the four gospels that Jesus was constantly bombarded with people. They wanted to be healed, to learn more about His teachings and just simply to be near Him. Jesus had compassion on the crowds of people. He didn't see them as being annoying people invading His space, or as ignorant people. Jesus saw the crowds of people as helpless (physically & spiritually).

Then I asked myself the question: how do I look at people when they're surrounding me, demanding me of my time, etc. Sounds like those "people" are my kids! I tend to get uptight & shoo them away when they are nagging, pestering, invading my space. When I get hungry, tired or busy, I like to have my space (both physically & mentally). It frustrates me when I have to repeatedly tend to my kids (usually for the same things over & over & over...) & all I want to do is be in my own little world.

That's when verse 36 really made sense to me - Jesus had compassion on the crowds of people because they were like a sheep without a shepherd. Surely I could try to have compassion on my kids when they crowd around me and when they continuously crowd my thoughts.

Lord, help me to have compassion on my kids & to not shoo them away. And help me to have compassion on others you bring across my path, to see them with Your eyes - to see them as helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Amen.

Treasure

It's been quite some time since I've shared my thoughts about what I'm learning from God, but today I feel compelled to share.

I've been processing some things lately (and still am to be honest), but I think I've been getting somewhere with the processing. Yesterday's sermon certainly helped. Our pastor is working through Matthew right now and spoke on Matthew 6:19-21 yesterday.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where our treasure is, there your heart will be also" Matthew 6:19-21.

These verses really struck a chord in my heart. There are some areas in my life where I realized I am not focussing on the eternal treasure like I should. Thankfully, God is patient and gracious. I know that as I wrestle through these areas and allow God to refocus my attention towards Him that He will not let me down. I am confident that God, who has begun a good work in me, will continue to work in me until the day of completion, the day of Jesus' return (Philippians 1:6).

Learning

These past couple of weeks I have been seriously contemplating taking a big step in order to increase the amount of income I bring in. Monday evening I attended a meeting so I could get a feel for things before I make a commitment.

I really want to do this venture. Jeremy has concerns but is willing for me to give it a trial run to see how things go. Everything has been falling into place. I even filled out an Application/Agreement form.

I hadn't faxed it in yet to make it official. Somewhere in my heart, quite near the surface to be exact, was this uneasiness. I had asked God what He thought about me taking on this new venture but quickly ended my prayer, not really waiting for an answer. Because I am so excited about this I was scared that God would say "NO". Of course, in not waiting for His answer I also missed out on hearing if His answer was "YES". To me, on paper this looked like a no-brainer, but I knew I still didn't have an answer from God. And one of the things I've learned these past several months is that just because something looks good on paper doesn't mean it's the best thing.

I was going to fax off my application a couple of days ago, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Something else I've learned over these past several months is that the time I spend with God on a daily basis (at least I really try to make it daily) is very precious to me; the time I spend reading the Bible seems to be closely connected with whether my spirit is at peace or not.

Tuesday afternoon I saw my Bible sitting next to our laptop. I knew I needed to spend time reading God's words - even if it is just about the Israelites and how they have turned away from God yet again. Funny how this scenario is repeated over and over again, but I keep learning from them! So, I took a lawn chair, my Bible and journal out to the back yard (in the shade - the shade is my friend) and sat down to see what God had to say to me.

I must pause here for a moment and say how thankful I am that during the time I was reading my Bible the kids were quite well-behaved. I still had to get up to take care of things here and there (and was slightly distracted by a mom desperately trying to raise her child - see Tuesday's post), but overall, my kids weren't squabbling or misbehaving! That in itself is a small miracle!

Anyways, I continued reading where I had left off - Amos 5 (click here to read the chapter). At times I quite enjoy reading the books from the Old Testament, but sometimes I just want to quit and move onto the New Testament. But for the time being, I am sticking with the Israelites. I started reading chapter 5 and came across this verse, "This is what the LORD says to the house of Israel: 'Seek me and live;...'" (verse 4). That seemed to speak to me. Here I am wondering if I should start this new financial endeavor and the words that speak to me are "Seek me and live". Hmmm. What does this mean in my situation? Is God trying to tell me something through this?

Then I read verses 21 - 23:

"I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps."

Now I don't claim in any way to know deep theological truths, especially from the Old Testament. The things that stood out to me may be completely out of context, so I can only hope that I am not misguiding anyone with what I learned the other day. When I read Amos 5:21-23, those verses made me stop and think. God is speaking to the Israelites. They have been making sacrifices to Him along with all the pagan rituals they have adopted. God is saying to His chosen people that He cares more about their heart attitude than He does about their religious rituals. The Isrealites were offering sacrifices to Him, as He had taught them so many years before, but they meant nothing to God because of their heart. They weren't focused solely on Him, forsaking all the other religions, worshiping only the one true God; they were doing a little bit of this and a little bit of that. God hates this kind of behavior. God really is a jealous God. He created us to worship HIM, not other things or people.

The rest of chapter 5 (verses 25-27) is God reminding the Israelites about the 40 years they spent wandering in the desert and how they brought sacrifices and offerings to Him but they also worshiped other idols made by their own hands, therefore not honoring the LORD.

My heart was beginning to feel more at peace about this endeavor but I wanted to take some more time to hear from God. So yesterday I read chapter 6 (click here to read the chapter). The chapter starts out very strong: "Woe to you who are complacent in Zion, and to you who feel secure on Mount Samaria, you notable men of the foremost nation, to whom the people of Israel come!" That's pretty strong!

I realize this post is getting lengthy so I'll summarize the rest of what I learned yesterday morning. God lists the disobedient things the Israelites are doing (v. 3-6) and tells them what will happen to them (v. 7). The rest of the chapter the LORD says that they are rejoicing over nothing; they had empty praises. Also, the Israelites were praising themselves for defeating a strong city, but in reality, whenever they defeated an enemy, it was God that made it possible (v. 12,13).

So what did I learn from all this? Check back tomorrow to find out!

I Will Walk By Faith

This morning we joined the thousands of other Christians in North America and went to church. This is still new for us to attend church on Sunday morning. The church we've been attending for the past 12 years has met Saturday nights for about nine years now, so getting up early Sunday mornings is still new for us!

I've been struggling this past week with being able to let go of our church family. I am confident in the fact that God has called our family on a different path than them. I don't question that at all, but despite that confidence it hasn't made it any easier for me to emotionally let go and open up to a new group of people, a new family.

This morning we attended the same church as last weekend. In some ways it was nice to have that familiarity rather than attending a different church every Sunday. As I sat down, waiting for the service to begin, my heart was still not ready to "make the switch". Yesterday as I was doing my bible reading, I prayed that God would speak to me in some way. Nothing of significance jumped out at me. This morning, one of the songs during the worship time spoke to my heart. It was a song by Jeremy Camp called "Walk by Faith", from the album "Stay". These are the words that spoke to my heart (for the full lyrics, click here):

Will I believe you when you say
Your hand will guide my every way?
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day?

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

How perfect are those words?! "Will I believe You when You say, Your hand will guide my every way?" At that moment, I realized that even though I trusted God to take our family on another path, I wasn't FULLY trusting Him. I kept thinking, "maybe things will change, maybe things will go back to how they used to be...". Remember, I am the person who does not like change! Reading those lyrics on the screen this morning made me stop and write them in my journal.

After the service as we were visiting with people, one of the men commented to Jeremy and I that although they are more than happy to have us visiting their church, the last thing he wants is us to feel pressure to join. Somehow, that struck a chord within my heart. Tears welled up in my eyes. I can't really explain it but God used this man's words to help me feel at peace about where we are on our journey. I don't know if this will be our new church family, but I now have peace that this road we're on, broken or confusing, is part of the process of God revealing His will for our lives.

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
Because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Thankful Thursday

It's Thursday again, which in the blogging world means it's Thankful Thursday. I've been having a difficult time finding things to be thankful for that I can't or don't quickly dismiss with negativity. But after spending some time with God things are getting better.

I finished the book of Hosea today! I get excited when I finish reading a book of the bible. It's a sense of accomplishment; something I struggle with - accomplishing things!

Anyway! I over the past several months, I have been reading through some Old Testament books. I find that the more I read these books, the more I gain a better understanding of the relationship between God and Israel, which in turn gives me a better understanding of my relationship with God. So many times the Israelites complained and God supplied their needs; they wanted idols like the surrounding nations so they built them; they wanted kings and princes like the other nations so God gave them their desires:

"Where is your king, that he may save you? Where are your rulers in all your towns, of whom you said, 'Give me a king and princes'? So in my anger I gave you a king, and in my wrath I took him away" Hosea 13:10,11.

I looked back at all the times I've been selfish, complained, and stomped my foot at God. I thought back over the years about how I struggled to feel close to God. I would have times of closeness (often during the height of a trial), but after the trial subsided, I would grow distant from God again. Then I would feel guilty about not maintaining my relationship with Christ. It really is a terrible roller coaster ride. Thankfully, last fall I really grasped the understanding that God isn't standing there ready to punish me for all my shortcomings and disobedience. That doesn't mean there aren't consequences for our actions (or lack thereof). But what I realized this past fall is that God is simply waiting for me with open arms, wanting me to see His love for me.

If you don't know, the the first three chapters of Hosea are a beautiful illustration of how God instructs the prophet Hosea to take back his adulterous wife, over and over again. God uses this relationship to parallel His relationship with Israel. Chapters 4 through 13 describe God's warning, judgement and punishment for Israel because of their disobedience, with the exception of chapter 11. Tucked nicely amongst all the "doom and gloom" chapter 11 describes God's never-ending love for Israel.

"How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel?...My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused. I will not carry out my fierce anger, nor devastate Ephraim again. For I am God, and not man - the Holy One among you. I will not come in wrath" Hosea 11:8,9.

The book ends with chapter 14, a chapter about repentance bringing a blessing to the God's chosen people.

"Take words with you and return to the LORD. Say to him: 'Forgive all our sins and receive us graciously, that we may offer the fruit of our lips'" Hosea 14:2.

Then there is God's response to their repentance:

"I will heal their waywardness and love them freely, my anger has turned away from them" Hosea 14:4.

This is the verse that really struck me this morning. I love that part: "and love them freely". Freely; without reservation; without traces of bitterness, resentment or anger. Love them FREELY! That is how God loves me (and you!)! Despite all the times I fail Him, He loves me with a pure love - no bitterness, resentment or attitude; FREELY! No matter what I've done or will do in the future, God loves me. Yes, I still need to deal with the consequences of my actions, and no, this doesn't mean that my life will be easy. But it means that God loves me despite my shortcomings. There is a freedom in that for me.

So, today I am thankful for God's free love for me! I'd love to hear what are you thankful for. Just leave a comment and let's praise God together! To share in Thankful Thursday, visit Iris at Sting My Heart.

He CHOSE To Suffer

This morning for my devotions I read chapter eight of the book "Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ" by John Piper. The chapter is called, "The Incomparable Sufferings ~ The Anguish of Jesus Christ". Click here to read the book on-line.

Author - John Piper

The content itself wasn't anything new for me, but it's the way it is written, the graphic reminder of just how much Christ suffered for us at his death that spoke to me.

Here are some of the points I gleaned from my time this morning:

• Jesus did not deserve to suffer, yet He suffered the most ever in history or the future
• Jesus was mocked, tortured and humiliated relentlessly, yet He did not take revenge; rather He remained silent and did not defend Himself (Luke 23:9) so as to fulfill Scriptures (Matthew 26:56)
• Jesus' friends betrayed and abandoned Him (Luke 22:48; Matthew 26:75)
• Jesus could have refused the suffering and crucifixion but he was obedient to His Father and CHOSE this path (Philippians 2:8).

It was God's will that Jesus suffer so intensely, "to crush him" (Isaiah 53:10). But Jesus accepted all of it to fulfill the Scriptures.

"Not only was it suffering by design, but also by obedience. Jesus embraced the pain. He chose it - "obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross" (Philippians 2:8). ~ Piper, p.70

Jesus CHOSE to die, even this hideous, humiliating death. Jesus knew that if He disobeyed and refused to go through the pain that all the people ever to live (including us) wouldn't / couldn't be free from our sins. He was obedient - even to the point of death!

"No one takes (my life) from me, but I lay it down of my own accord" (John 10:18).

Piper goes on to say that two purposes were accomplished in the suffering of Christ (p. 71):

1. The suffering of Jesus brought us to God who is fullness of joy and pleasure forevermore. "Christ...suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God" (1 Peter 3:18).
2. In the very hour of death the Father and the Son were glorified. "Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him" (John 13:31).

Piper concludes by saying, "Our joy in savoring God and his glory in saving us are one. That is the glory of Christ's incomparable sufferings" (p.71).

Knowing that Jesus CHOSE to suffer, was humiliated, taunted, mocked, ridiculed, endured excruciating physical pain as well as the pain of betrayal and abandonment; knowing that He went through all of that because He chose to...it makes me ever so grateful. He KNOWS how I feel when I am hurting, feel alone, have physical pain. He CARES about my pain. Today I am pondering about the depth of what this means to me.

Joy???

I don't have joy in my life right now.

That is the conclusion I came to today. Jeremy and I are in the midst of some potentially major changes in our church. The processing within the leadership has been going on for close to four months now. We are tired of the processing, yet at the same time know that it is a very important step in the decision making.

Because I am on our church board, I have had a number of extra meetings to attend over the past few months. Each of these meetings brings with it a big weight of consideration, prayer, seeking God and discernement. That can get tiring after awhile!

Today as I sat down to do my devotions, I opened up a book I started reading awhile back, "Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ" by John Piper. I picked up where I had left off and wouldn't you know it, the chapter is called "The Indestructible Joy"! How fitting! To be honest though, when I started reading the chapter, I had to re-read several sections over and over again because my mind just wasn't connecting - until I got to a verse that Piper quoted:

John 15:11
"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete."

Suddenly, my wandering thoughts came to a hault. "Joy. I don't have joy in my life right now." I am almost at the point where I just don't care anymore. I know that apathy is NOT from God, so that means it's from Satan. Suddenly I am wanting to run as far away from apathy as fast as I can.

How can a person have joy in the midst of struggles?

Philippians 4:4
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Philippians 3:13b,14
"But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

Philippians 4:6,7
"Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I am seeking God for His joy.

One Step at a Time

Where do I start?!

I have so much to write about. I think I'll have to share it in more than one post. This past week has been a very difficult one. I will post about that another time (maybe tomorrow). For right now, I want to share about my weekend (Friday night till Saturday afternoon).

Over the past few months I have been hearing about a lady named Beth Moore with Living Proof Ministries. I didn't know anything about her but I was reading about her on different blogs - "I've just come from my Beth Moore bible study", Beth Moore this and Beth Moore that. When I saw an announcement in our church bulletin saying that this Beth Moore lady was coming to Vancouver for a conference, I thought I'd do a little Google search on her. It was then that I learned that she has an international ministry. She began by creating bible studies for her church and it has spread from there.

Deep inside me something stirred. I just knew that I should go to this conference. I don't usually make spontaneous decisions like that. I didn't really know all that much about this lady. I didn't even know if she was "out there" in her beliefs or if she really was spiritually on track.

I chose to listen to that stirring in me, sent out an e-mail to the other ladies in our church and waited to see if anyone else wanted to go. I didn't really want to go by myself, besides the more ladies that came, the cheaper the hotel cost would be! I'm all for trying to cut costs.

Two other ladies responded so we registered for the conference and booked our hotel. I still wasn't sure if I would have to spend my time at the conference trying to decipher truth from lies, but at the same time I was at peace with going.

Christy & Luciana

From the moment the 2008 Living Proof Live conference started, I was completely at peace. I was able to immediately enter into worship with the worship team. The entire conference was absolutely amazing, focused on Christ - not Beth and the worship team. From the very beginning of the conference, and throughout it, Beth and the worship leader, Travis Cottrell , said that they are hear to serve us. They were not doing these conferences for their glory, rather for God to receive the glory. This was demonstrated over and over again. The strongest way this was portrayed was at the very end of the conference. Beth had finished speaking and the worship team began leading us in some final songs. They began the last song. They began with full instruments, then stopped playing them so we were all singing a cappela. The lights faded, the worship team stopped singing so it was just us women singing praises to God and then quietly, the worship team left the stage. No big hype about praising them for the amazing job they did, no seeking glory for themselves. Just leaving us women to worship God. I was so impressed by that.

Before each conference, Beth prays and asks God what He would like her to share with the ladies in that particular city. Rather than having a polished presentation that she repeats at every city, she speaks specifically what God impresses on her heart. For this past weekend, Beth spoke on Hebrews 4:12-16,

12) "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing sould and spirit, joint and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (13) Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sigh. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. (14) Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. (15) For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. (16)Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

I've read these verses before - they are highlighted and underlined in my bible. But having Beth take us through and dig deeper into the meaning of each verse...it is so different from just reading it. She also had us memorize verse 12. Memorizing scripture is so important. Much of what Beth said I already knew, but hearing it in different ways, hearing it again gives more impact to the verses. I have nine pages of notes in my journal!

The biggest impact for me this weekend was the absolute, all-consuming urge to study the bible more. I know that the Word of God is powerful, sharper than any double-edged sword. I have had an inner yearning for the past number of months to dig deeper in to the bible, but this weekend, having Beth lead us through these verses has strengthened my desire to learn more. It is so exciting to read the bible and see how it can change a person's life. The words in the bible aren't just words on paper, they are living and active. They can heal a person's hurt, they can encourage and uplift, they can bring a person to their knees in repentance. I want to share the excitement of God's Word.

I don't know if this weekend was another step in God's preparation for leading me (and Jeremy) into further ministry or if it's just for the purpose of strengthening my personal relationship with Christ. Whatever the reason, I want to be available.

If you have never attended a Beth Moore conference before, even if you have, I highly recommend you attend one of her upcoming conferences. Check out her website for locations (the rest are in the USA). If you live in the vacinity, make it a priority to attend. You won't be disappointed. You will be challenged and refreshed!

This video is of the conference this past weekend - actual footage! Many thanks to Travis Cottrell for putting the Html code on his blog!

Journey Between the Doors

"See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction. For my own sake, for my own sake, I do this. How can I let myself be defamed? I will not yield my glory to another."
Isaiah 48:10,11

I am realizing more and more how important it is for us to glorify God. I've mentioned before about a book Jeremy and I are reading called "Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ". This small book has really opened my eyes to the importance that everything we do should glorify God. I've also been amazed at how many times the bible mentions God being glorified. These verses from Isaiah 48 are no exception. God often puts us through a refining process. The refining process is not meant to be easy; it is meant to change the original into something new. But all the while it is for His glory!

"...'I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.' "
Isaiah 48:17

This verse has been very meaningful to me lately. Jeremy and I have been seeking God, asking Him what He wants us to do next (keeping in mind that this is a year of change). When I read this verse I was very encouraged by the reminder that God is not only teaching us, but that He is teaching us what is best for us and He is directing us in the way we should go.

Excerpt from my journal:

"Pondering on these verses again! 'I have refined you' and 'I am the LORD...who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you...'. So affirmation of why we are going through trials - to be refined for His glory; and a reminder that God knows what's best for us and He will direct us in the way we should go. So trust God when doors open or close and be thankful for the journey between the doors!

Thank you, Jesus, for our journey. Please continue to speak to me, give me confidence to trust in You! I don't want to fear You or Your plans. Please help us to be patient during this journey and help both of us to be sure and at peace when it's the right time to act."